Our Clandestine Fascination With Dr. Google

Americans are obsessed with health, especially as they age. We are reminded constantly that we’d better “use it or lose it.” You can be in the middle of your favorite television show, only to be interrupted by ten minutes of infomercials selling everything from soup to nuts. Right?

We are bombarded with advertisements for vitamins consisting of dehydrated veggies, a daily nine-cup dosage, all shoved into a tiny, neat little capsule. What an awesome way to get those Brussel sprouts and cauliflower down! Then, there is a plethora of multivitamins and minerals which promise to restore those of us beyond our mid-life crisis to the days of our youth, wrinkle free, and strong enough to run an Iron Man Triathlon.

We can exercise those failing, lethargic muscles without ever leaving home. Our exercise program can take place right in the middle of our living room, utilizing delightful gadgets made to target the places our diet of potato chips and ice cream land and claim permanent residency. How good is that?

You can enroll in a local gym, of which there are several, only to leave feeling sore, out of shape, and full of remorse that you didn’t take better care of yourself like the youthful gods and goddesses who are working out around you.

Our televisions and computers offer opportunities to order heating pads, hearing aids, and numerous other products that are guaranteed to deliver the perfect Grecian athlete body. Or like me, we can choose to mute those annoying demands for our hard-earned cash and take a trip to the kitchen to find that bag of chocolate chip cookies.

But I digress. Once we realize we are not the same healthy person from our youth, we begin to pay attention to our body’s multiple aches and pains. Sometimes we get caught up in the maladies of our friends, walking away contemplating whether we may just have that lumbago, or “koklush” as my grandmother often complained of. I had to consult Dr. Google to find out whether it was a real illness, and guess what? It is!

This brings me to the real purpose of my thoughts today. Yes, Virginia, there is a very real Dr. Google. Actually, there are several, probably millions, if we wanted to count them.

I’m thinking there needs to be a self-help group for those of us who are addicted to Dr. Google. It would have to be Dr. Google Anonymous, because admitting we are fascinated and enthralled by our maladies is, well, an illness of its own. Now don’t misinterpret me. We do need to pay attention to our health, especially as we age, and begin having those tell-tale signs of complicated medical conditions. However, it is much better to seek the advice of your doctor, rather than that of your friends, or the infamous Dr. Google.

One ten-minute session on your laptop searching for the hazards and complications of your current symptoms can have you believing you may only have six months to live, or needing major surgery to fix the problem. That won’t include the new prescription for anxiety pills needed to calm you down after reading about the various serious end results of your illness.

I speak from experience. My doctor is not a fan of Dr. Google. It’s easy to succumb to health issues we don’t have only to have our primary care physician reassure us that we are just fine. I’m all for that. Why waste a good worry, right?

But, like trying not to strain to see a pile-up on the freeway, we are drawn into that informative, black hole of the computer universe, even if it’s just for a quick glance. Therein lies the catch. It’s best to remember that just because it’s on the internet, doesn’t mean it’s true.

Addictions are real. I have several. I crave chocolate. I love to work Soduku and can do so losing all track of time. Bigfoot “reality” shows fascinate me, while I try to decide if the only reason we don’t have true evidence is because they slip into an alternative universe to stay hidden. I hate to admit it, but I am weaning off my addiction to Dr. Google. Admitting there is a problem is the greater part of overcoming, or so they say. I’d be happy to begin a group session but I’m afraid if we were feeling poorly, we would not attend, and when we are feeling great, there would be no need to gather.

So, off I go, or I will be late to my doctor’s appointment. I discovered (by Dr. Google, of course), that I may have a serious disease found only in the Sahara Desert; however the cross winds of the world have caused a drift of Saharan sand across the Atlantic, so I’m pretty sure I most definitely have that malady …

---- You may reach Terri at P O Box 28, Center, Texas 75935 or at btlachr@sbcglobal. net